If that young fellar and his wife need a break, I guess they deserve it. The only problem is that you, dear reader, are left in a sticky situation. There ain’t much time left. The millennium will be here before long and without my column, you will be left in the clutches of younger, less seasoned advice-givers... facin' years that begin with a two and not knowing where to turn. What will you do? What will you do? It could be the greatest opportunity in a thousand years for mankind to change its sorry ways and you could waste the chance for lack of bein' told what to do.

Where else will you get advice from a person almost two hundred years old? I ain't braggin' or claimin' to be smart. It's just a fact that wisdom comes from makin’ mistakes. And, although I am sure there are plenty of folks out there that have messed up more things than I have in any single year, I'll put my lifetime record up against anyone on the planet.

That's why I am worried that not havin’ me around to give you advice is liable to get you in trouble. You might have to go out and make all those mistakes yourself.

Therefore, circumstances bein' what they are, I have been forced into bein’ unnaturally concise. I figured on havin’ a long time to give you all this advice. I was going to break it to you easy, a little at a time. But, it can't be helped. The year 2,000 is staring us in the face. I'm gonna be gone and you’ll be up the creek. Somebody has got to tell you how to live.

1. Listen - You cain't learn nothin' if you don't listen. Everthing and everbody in this world has somethin' to teach you but if you don't listen, you won't find that out. Mostly, the last thing you want to hear is the first thing you ought to know. The advice most of us listen to comes from the voice in our own heads, and that's the one voice you can't learn nothin' from. Shut up and listen. Use duct tape if it helps.

2. Look for the truth – It's hard, some say impossible, to find the truth. That don't make no difference. It's the search that matters. Start with tellin’ the ones you love the truth about the things you are hidin’ from them. You know, all that stuff you are embarrassed about...all that stuff you've been covering up all this time. You'll find out they knew most of it already. You'll feel a lot better and they will too. Life’s easier once it's done. Do it.

3. Get to know yourself - Once you start workin’ on tellin’ the truth, you’ll get the chance to see yourself the way you really are. It takes a while and it ain’t no fun. You got to sort through all them hangups from your childhood, which is kind of embarrassin’, but if you study hard, you'll get there. It's tough to get anywhere if you don't know where you are to start with.

4. Treat people right - If you do the first three, this one comes naturally. It's like that old sayin' from the 1960s..."Everywhere you look...there you are." It’s a matter of puttin yourself in the other fella’s shoes. This one will take care of war, poverty, crime and racism so we can move on to dealin’ with bigger problems.

5. Respect yourself - You're all you've got. Might as well learn to like yourself. Sometimes doin’ what other folks expect you to do can leave you without your self respect. Do what is right, not what is popular. Give others the room to do the same.

6. Dream big - You can be anything you want. Believe in something bigger than yourself. If you don't have a big dream, find someone who has a dream you respect and get behind them. Jesus said we could move mountains. Get movin’. Being part of something big makes you bigger.

7. Think for yourself - Thinking for yourself usually requires readin’ or listenin’ to the ideas of other folks who think for themselves. Then, it helps to take the time to consider them ideas and find the ones that are true for you. It’s also a good plan to change your ideas when better ones come along. You may have to turn off the TV to do this.

8. Build a family - You don't have to marry and have kids to have a family. Anybody can build one out of materials at hand. Look around. Make a family out of your friends, your community, the whole dang planet or...do it the old fashioned way. Either way, reach out.

9. Learn to do something well - You’ve heard it before, “Quality is its own reward.” When you learn to do something well, you build yourself up. The work you do shows the kind of person you are. When you do sorry work, that’s what you’ll be...sorry. Refine your skills and be a craftsman in life. Don’t be sorry.

10. Love one another - The most important bit of advice anyone can give you...just like it says in the Good Book. It’s both the easiest and the hardest advice to take. You got to forgive yourself and other people before you can do it well. Work at it!

About now you are probably thinkin’, “Who does this old coot think he is, tellin’ me how to live. Why I bet that sorry old hypocrite don’t even follow his own advice.”

Well, truth is, you are right about that. I’ve lived 193 years and I still don’t get parts of this right almost every single day.

Thing is...that don’t make it any less true. It’s like my old daddy used to tell me when I pointed out that he didn’t follow all the rules he laid out for me.

“Son,” he used to say. “If I didn’t expect you to be better than I am, what kind of a father would I be?” Same goes for you. The year 2,000 is just around the corner and this old world only gets better one person at a time.

Bein’ a better person may not bring you riches and fame but it will bring you peace of mind... and that is what true success is all about.